Feeling Much Better

I have felt kind of guilty about posting my "raw" feelings on my blog last post. I am usually a more positive person. I guess the dizziness really threw me off. It was good for me to write those feelings down though. I am realizing more and more lately how much writing is good for me. I have instinctively kept a journal since I was very young. There aren't many "treasures" in my journals, but the act of working out my feelings in writing has become therapeutic. I realize that it's a fine line though when you write something publicly. It can appear to be a cry for attention or help. I appreciate those of you who reached out and who expressed concern for me. Those kindnesses lifted my spirits at a time when all I wanted to do was eat a candy bar and go back to bed.

I am feeling 100% better.

I went ahead with the physical therapy and as I did the assigned exercises at home, the healing came gradually. The dizzy spells were the first to go. Then my balance began to come back day by day. Then last of all, my strength. So I am finally freed from whatever it was. I was nervous about telling people I was feeling better, for fear that it would all come back again. But at this point I feel so grateful and relieved!! 

Through all of this I have definitely gained more empathy for people who live with daily health challenges. I really felt an inner struggle with myself during all of this. I wanted a sense of normalcy (to just do the things I do) but I also felt sucked back by my symptoms. I was forced to slow down. I also felt a need to tell people how awful I was feeling. This was not to get attention, but to communicate something that was unseen, but highly present for me. 

I recognize that not everyone can get relief like I did and go back to "normal." This makes me feel even more grateful and humbled to receive such a blessing from God.